There just ain't even words.
My ma is insane sometimes, I swear.
Though, at least she ended up approving of me and Elly marrying.
That's good, right?
June 6
I gave my report to the Commander. He said I did good, that it meant I had the makings of a soldier, at least, the beginnings of one. Until right then, that was exactly what I had wanted to hear from him, the praise I was looking for. But, it didn’t settle right. All I could keep thinking about was what I could have done differently, what I could have done right.
A good soldier wouldn’t have been beat down by worm like Carkel.
Elly keeps fretting around. I know she’s only worried, but it’s driving me up the wall. I want to tell her to settle down, that I’m alive and that’s what matters, but I can’t seem to get the words out. I keep wondering if she’s disgusted by me…I looked in a mirror earlier, she had told me the truth, my face was bad. As much as I try, I can’t move the left side of my lips…Can’t smile right.
The Commander introduced me to another warrior- fresh meat like me. His name is Astirion, though he goes by Rock. Wrong as it may be, I kind of hated him. Not cause he’s a bad guy, hell, I’m sure once all this passes, we’ll be damn good friends…But because he seemed so perfect, like what I should be.
Everything about him was better, his looks, his mentor, even his armor and weapons shined…
Ma always said jealousy is a petty thing, and I shouldn’t be upset over what others rightfully have earned, but I was. I was jealous that he had just joined and got to train under the leader of the War Corps, that the Commander seemed to have some sort of silent approval for him.
I felt like hitting him when he started acting all charming towards Elly…What’s wrong with me?
This ain’t me. I know it…I know I ain’t angry, I shouldn’t be. I did what I set out to do, I defended my home- proved all of them wrong.
Elly had a device…it showed me everything she went through in Northrend. They were fighting hundreds of scourge and ghouls, and none of them seemed to have a scratch on them. It ended as they found Mel. She’s under the impression that it was because of me that Carkel didn’t catch them…
I think she knows something is wrong, I just don’t want to tell her. I don’t want to let her know how much all this has shaken me…I want to be strong, I want her to believe I’m strong.
I need to train…I need to hit something.
A good soldier wouldn’t have been beat down by worm like Carkel.
Elly keeps fretting around. I know she’s only worried, but it’s driving me up the wall. I want to tell her to settle down, that I’m alive and that’s what matters, but I can’t seem to get the words out. I keep wondering if she’s disgusted by me…I looked in a mirror earlier, she had told me the truth, my face was bad. As much as I try, I can’t move the left side of my lips…Can’t smile right.
The Commander introduced me to another warrior- fresh meat like me. His name is Astirion, though he goes by Rock. Wrong as it may be, I kind of hated him. Not cause he’s a bad guy, hell, I’m sure once all this passes, we’ll be damn good friends…But because he seemed so perfect, like what I should be.
Everything about him was better, his looks, his mentor, even his armor and weapons shined…
Ma always said jealousy is a petty thing, and I shouldn’t be upset over what others rightfully have earned, but I was. I was jealous that he had just joined and got to train under the leader of the War Corps, that the Commander seemed to have some sort of silent approval for him.
I felt like hitting him when he started acting all charming towards Elly…What’s wrong with me?
This ain’t me. I know it…I know I ain’t angry, I shouldn’t be. I did what I set out to do, I defended my home- proved all of them wrong.
Elly had a device…it showed me everything she went through in Northrend. They were fighting hundreds of scourge and ghouls, and none of them seemed to have a scratch on them. It ended as they found Mel. She’s under the impression that it was because of me that Carkel didn’t catch them…
I think she knows something is wrong, I just don’t want to tell her. I don’t want to let her know how much all this has shaken me…I want to be strong, I want her to believe I’m strong.
I need to train…I need to hit something.
June 6
It’s odd…Thinking about how to write everything that’s happened in the last day. Fel, I can barely remember most of last night.
Elly, Seana, and Miss Duskbane took off with the Commander to Northrend to get Mel. He said I couldn’t…Funny, maybe if he had let me go I wouldn’t be looking like this now. Though, in an odd way- I’m kinda thankful for it all.
I went home after they left, spent most of the afternoon pacing about an doing busy work. I finished my hammer…wish I’d known I was going to use it so soon, but fel, it sure did a good number. I was training with it when he showed up.
Introduced himself as Garoth…Gregor…Summin like that. Started saying all this bullshit about Elly, fuck, he even called her a whore. I told him to leave, but when he refused, we started fighting. I don’t remember much…But Light, I sure do remember the ghouls….How they came at his call, how they grabbed me…
The claws.
The healer healed most of the scratches, the ones that weren’t too deep. Even got my arm mostly healed up, but he said my face won’t ever look the same again. I suppose it ain’t too bad, even if I can’t move some of the left side of my face. He said summin about ‘nerve damage’, said I was lucky that I didn’t get a hit of plague with it.
Fel, I’m lucky Elly got home when she did. I wasn’t sure I could hold on for another hour. I had barely gotten myself to the door, away from all the corpses. Once again, I feel real sure she’s the one…The way she took care of me, I felt like I woulda died without her. She didn’t even lie to me about my face, but she still acts like I’m as attractive as ever.
It don’t matter what anyone says, she’s the best damn thing to ever happen to me. An’ I’ll gut that Carkel for sayin’ otherwise.
Elly, Seana, and Miss Duskbane took off with the Commander to Northrend to get Mel. He said I couldn’t…Funny, maybe if he had let me go I wouldn’t be looking like this now. Though, in an odd way- I’m kinda thankful for it all.
I went home after they left, spent most of the afternoon pacing about an doing busy work. I finished my hammer…wish I’d known I was going to use it so soon, but fel, it sure did a good number. I was training with it when he showed up.
Introduced himself as Garoth…Gregor…Summin like that. Started saying all this bullshit about Elly, fuck, he even called her a whore. I told him to leave, but when he refused, we started fighting. I don’t remember much…But Light, I sure do remember the ghouls….How they came at his call, how they grabbed me…
The claws.
The healer healed most of the scratches, the ones that weren’t too deep. Even got my arm mostly healed up, but he said my face won’t ever look the same again. I suppose it ain’t too bad, even if I can’t move some of the left side of my face. He said summin about ‘nerve damage’, said I was lucky that I didn’t get a hit of plague with it.
Fel, I’m lucky Elly got home when she did. I wasn’t sure I could hold on for another hour. I had barely gotten myself to the door, away from all the corpses. Once again, I feel real sure she’s the one…The way she took care of me, I felt like I woulda died without her. She didn’t even lie to me about my face, but she still acts like I’m as attractive as ever.
It don’t matter what anyone says, she’s the best damn thing to ever happen to me. An’ I’ll gut that Carkel for sayin’ otherwise.
June 1
Ugh. I ran into that Seana lady and the troll that interrupted me and Elly- Durzuli, I think. Anyways, they were talking about Malarius, of course. Damn Forsaken comes up everywhere I go nowadays. Sat there and told her that she was too harsh sayin he should be put down like a dog.
Of course he should, damn man is a raving lunatic.
But it’s for Elly, after seeing how much she wants to find him and have him around for the wedding and all, I don’t want her to get upset. Even if that means trying to make sure that rot for brains doesn’t get killed for all his crap.
I just wish she saw him- fel, all these people, the way I do. But that ain’t gonna happen, after all, they’ve known each other for forever an a day. It just ain’t easy knowing she forgave him so easily after being ready to rip his head off herself that night. But, that’s just how she is…and most of the time, it’s a great thing.
Apparently this Carkel guy has taken him all the way up to Northrend. I keep wondering if I should say something to the Commander about joining in on the hunt, but I ain’t sure Elly wants me to go. I don’t even think she liked me wandering off when we went to Dalaran.
Thank the Light she sure loves her sweets- cupcakes, an such that is.
But soon enough I won’t be so pathetic, and maybe then she won’t worry over it. After all, she got us some raptor hatchlings, and they’re doin more damage to me than anyone else ever has. Fel, hers near bit my toe off.
For all her worryin, she'd prolly kill me for all the stuff Utani got us into tonight.
He showed up while Seana, Durzuli, Elly and I were talkin. He sure is a strange guy, makes these neat little trinkets an such. Anyway, he spotted this guy who said he knew Quel'dorei...Though, I think he was one, but it's hard to tell with Death Knights an all.
Anyway, I went with Utani to keep him outta trouble. That sure didn't work. Somehow, we ended up robbing the Blood Knights blind. He got some good wine, cheese and cigars while I distracted them...I know Elly and the Commander would kill me if they found out, but it was...exhilaratin. I ain't ever felt that way before...
Oh, and we almost got into a fight with a Blood Knight- that's what caused all that.
Anyway, we ended up wandering to the Wayfarers to find a light, and Utani proceeded to try to get a goblin to kiss him. Summin about the Commander telling him to find a girl with hips...While Utani is good guy, I kind of hated him for it. For getting the Commander to give him advise, give him a real task...
When Elly told him we got engaged, I barely got a congratulations...I don't know why it bothers me, after all, I ain't sure I even like him that much, I shouldn't want his approval or his opinions...But I do.
I should probably head home...This bar is giving me a headache.
Of course he should, damn man is a raving lunatic.
But it’s for Elly, after seeing how much she wants to find him and have him around for the wedding and all, I don’t want her to get upset. Even if that means trying to make sure that rot for brains doesn’t get killed for all his crap.
I just wish she saw him- fel, all these people, the way I do. But that ain’t gonna happen, after all, they’ve known each other for forever an a day. It just ain’t easy knowing she forgave him so easily after being ready to rip his head off herself that night. But, that’s just how she is…and most of the time, it’s a great thing.
Apparently this Carkel guy has taken him all the way up to Northrend. I keep wondering if I should say something to the Commander about joining in on the hunt, but I ain’t sure Elly wants me to go. I don’t even think she liked me wandering off when we went to Dalaran.
Thank the Light she sure loves her sweets- cupcakes, an such that is.
But soon enough I won’t be so pathetic, and maybe then she won’t worry over it. After all, she got us some raptor hatchlings, and they’re doin more damage to me than anyone else ever has. Fel, hers near bit my toe off.
For all her worryin, she'd prolly kill me for all the stuff Utani got us into tonight.
He showed up while Seana, Durzuli, Elly and I were talkin. He sure is a strange guy, makes these neat little trinkets an such. Anyway, he spotted this guy who said he knew Quel'dorei...Though, I think he was one, but it's hard to tell with Death Knights an all.
Anyway, I went with Utani to keep him outta trouble. That sure didn't work. Somehow, we ended up robbing the Blood Knights blind. He got some good wine, cheese and cigars while I distracted them...I know Elly and the Commander would kill me if they found out, but it was...exhilaratin. I ain't ever felt that way before...
Oh, and we almost got into a fight with a Blood Knight- that's what caused all that.
Anyway, we ended up wandering to the Wayfarers to find a light, and Utani proceeded to try to get a goblin to kiss him. Summin about the Commander telling him to find a girl with hips...While Utani is good guy, I kind of hated him for it. For getting the Commander to give him advise, give him a real task...
When Elly told him we got engaged, I barely got a congratulations...I don't know why it bothers me, after all, I ain't sure I even like him that much, I shouldn't want his approval or his opinions...But I do.
I should probably head home...This bar is giving me a headache.
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